Intuitive Eating Principle 3 - Make Peace with Food
Making Peace with Food
The third principle of Intuitive Eating (IE), make peace with food, can feel worlds apart from where we might be today.
Making peace with food begins with eating with unconditional permission...
- Dropping the “good” and “bad” food labels.
- Forgetting all of the messages and rules that have been beat into our head, over and over, through the years.
- No restrictions around portion size.
Simply listening to your body’s cues about what sounds appetizing and when you've had enough. At the moment this doesn't sound simple, and that is expected.
Messages around food may have come from well meaning providers, diet programs, advertising, family, and our own life experiences such as financial constraints around food. Stop and pause to consider what it would mean for you if all foods were considered equal. What would you gain from this new reality? What would you lose?
I think for many of us, moving toward unconditional permission to eat can feel like it's going to be a long journey - it can feel terrifying.
- What if I don't stop eating?
- How will my body change?
- What if this doesn't work for me?
- What will my partner think?
- Will my health suffer?
- How long will this take?
As we talked about earlier, physical deprivation sets us up to feel out of control with food. What is less discussed is the psychological and emotional restriction around food. When we assign moral value to food it gives the food a lot of power. When we avoid food because we believe it is “bad' or if we eat in a certain manner because we believe it is “good” we are creating a strong environment for feeling deprivation and guilt.
Swinging between deprivation and guilt is exhausting and leaves us feeling less than, always.
Just to paint a clear picture on where we are going with this - the end goal of the peace making is habituation. Habituation is when we've enjoyed and consumed a food long enough that the novelty wears off, that food loses it's strong appeal because it is no longer the “forbidden fruit”. This shouldn't be confused with the act of making ourselves sick of the food but more so having the food become neutral. A cupcake holds the same value as an apple. When habituation has been established it is not uncommon for people to have a bit of a mourning period when the excitement around certain foods fades.
Commitment to changing the way you look at past forbidden foods is a big step in the IE journey. It's okay to take a pause to let these new ideas and thoughts roll around in your head.
When you are ready to begin the work of making peace with food, try the following:
- Start by purchasing a food that you currently consider temping (but not your most tempting), one that you may restrict or feel guilt around when consumed. Purchase a generous amount of it for use at home. If this feels like too big of a step, just allow yourself to purchase a portion or two and consume outside the home at a restaurant.
- Consume the food at the time of day that feels good to you and eat as much as you'd like, until you feel satisfied. Notice how you feel and sit with your feelings- over time what you feel will change.
- Repeat with this food until the novelty begins to subside. Now that you've had some practice, move onto a more challenging food.
As with any new endeavor, expect some setbacks, expect that some days will be easier than others. Do your best to reserve judgment and treat yourself with compassion and kindness - this isn’t easy work but I can promise you it will be rewarding.
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